C&C: 🦅America🦅

America, proud and patriotic, is a large country in North America. Its national language is English, and its citizens come from a variety of backgrounds. It is a unique country in many ways, including the fact that its provinces are called states, a confusing term because this normally refers to countries. In addition to failing vocabulary, America's founders also failed math. They created a unique method of voting called the electoral college to ensure that your vote doesn’t really count. It is also quirky in that it is one of only three countries where the metric system is not commonly used. Today, Americans live on land seized/stolen from the Indigenous people who lived on it for more than 10,000 years. Indigenous people now only own 2.3% of the land (called reservations). 

American citizens have a particular fascination with guns, beer, themselves, and a strange old man named Uncle Sam. The average American diet includes red food dye, aspartame, and high fructose corn syrup in large amounts daily. 

BACAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Do you hear that? That's the sound of our national bird, the American Bald Eagle - let’s go ask him what he feels about America. 

Interview with an American Icon:

Keira: Hello, Mr. Eagle. What are your views on the American flag?

Mr Eagle: BACAAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Emilie: Oh, really? That’s a pretty controversial view.

Mr Eagle flies away

Myth:

The Big Mac god came to earth one day and decided to start his cult, which was called McDonald’s. His ultimate goal was to destroy his opps like the Burger King and the Deity that went by the name of Colonel Sanders. As McDonalds became more popular around California (where the Big Mac god started on his trip), his cult grew bigger and bigger. As of today, The Big Mac god’s influence and his cult have expanded all across the world. Some derivatives of the Big Mac cult are the Mcflurry creed and the Happy Meal® denomination (this one being wildly popular amongst young Americans).

The Big Mac cult has garnered countless enemies over the years, from the Crunchwrap Supreme  denomination to the Frosty disciples and the entitled worshipers Shackburger. At times burgers have been thrown and Subway tuna has been scrutinized, but at the time of writing there seems to be peace among the followers of fast food.

Recipe: 

Directions:

1. Get off of your couch

2. Grab your car keys

3. Get in your car

4. Go to McDonalds in your car

5. Go through the drive through

6. Get a BigMac

7. Go home
   

( the GGGGGGG rule)