11 Reasons Why I Didn’t Go to Lakeside

1. I hate lions. I mean, what a basic mascot.  Like, if you really think about it, if a blazer and a lion got into a fight the blazer would win, because blazers have magical fire powers. 

2. Lakeside is so far away. Can you imagine driving to basically Shoreline every single day? That is so far, and for environmental reasons I just can’t support such a commute. Think about our planet! It's almost as bad as (someone) driving all the way from Bellevue to Bush. 

3. They are too good at sports. I think understanding how to lose is a very important skill that all Bush athletes have learned. This is an education that I just wouldn’t have gotten if I went to Lakeside. 

4. Bush has so many notable alumni. Like when you think of Bush alumni you have those guys that were in that one band, and like some authors. But who went to Lakeside?  Bill Gates? Paul Allen? Who are those guys anyway? Exactly. 

5. The Tatler. They have a newspaper with a name plagiarized from a British fashion magazine. And their newspapers are printed on real newspaper paper, as if they don’t know the greenhouse gasses that they emit!

6. They don’t even have a nordic ski team. Many years ago Lakeside’s nordic ski team was so desperate, they joined up with the highly decorated Bush ski team to save their program. Eventually Lakeside just couldn't keep up and the partnership ended along with the Lakeside team. At the end of the day I value a school that maintains the essential sports: soccer, track and field, volleyball, and nordic skiing.      

7. It's not even lakeside. Currently, Lakeside is 3 miles away from any water (why they have a crew team I will never understand), and Lakeside got its name while its campus resided where Bush currently is. So it seems to me like Bush is the real “lakeside” school.

8. Feminism. Did you know that originally only men were allowed to attend Lakeside? Imagine having a history of being a gender exclusive school. How embarrassing!

9. It's so old. Lakeside was established over 100 years ago (1919). I prefer to be a part of a more modern institution, like Bush. 

10. Same school colors as Gryffindor. Lakeside not only copied the famed Hogwarts house’s mascot, but they took their colors, too. 

11. I didn’t get in. Okay to be clear, I was super high on the waitlist, but, like, who cares? I mean I only applied as a joke, because obviously I knew I was going to Bush.